Sorry.
First, a bit of background is necessary. When I started cycling regularly, I searched out the club in my hometown, so that I'd have someone to ride with when I went to visit. I found the Brazos Valley Cyclists, and joined their mailing list. I eventually started dating JM, a woman whom I met on the list. Eventually, all good things (and my relationships) come to an end, and we broke up after about a year and a half.
Unsurprisingly, I soon found myself removed from the mailing list. I say unsurprisingly, because JM was one of the list administrators, and she had removed Hank, her previous boyfriend, after they broke up. I spoke with the list owner, and he helped me get back onto the list.
About a year later, I got kicked off of the mailing list again. I again contacted the list owner, and he spoke to JM, who said that she didn't want me using the list to contact or "harass" her. Since the list owner did not feel that I had done either of these things, he again put me back on.
Last Friday, JM sent the following e-mail to the mailing list, in response to a query about riding in the B-group (the slower of the two Saturday morning club rides):
Pete: I average around 15 mph when left to my own devices. We
generally get split up on the first half by the fast group, then
regroup either on the way to Cook's Point or for the ride home. If
you are in the ballpark of the group speed, you are unlikely to get
abandoned on the way home, unless you are a crazy unsafe rider or an ex-boyfriend whom I have asked plainly to please leave me alone yet who is not leaving me alone. In which case, you get what you get.
You are probably safe on that account. :)
(Emphasis mine.)
I forwarded this to the list owner, and asked him if I would get kicked off the mailing list if I responded. He asked me to leave him out of it, and I took that as a "please don't" and so I didn't.
I happened to be in town for the Saturday ride, and was the first to show up at the meeting place. While I was sitting on a bench, a second rider rode up, and he looked a bit familiar.
"I'm Hank," he said, extending his hand.
"Aha! I thought that might be you! Did you read JM's e-mail yesterday?" I replied.
"Yeah, I showed up at last Monday's Social Ride, and she tried to send me home. She said that she wouldn't start the ride unless I left. After about 15 minutes of standing around, I asked the others if they wanted to ride, and they did, so we took off, leaving JM behind."
BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! OMFGTISFF!
He went on to explain that a woman on the ride was asking about his history with JM, and he explained that they had dated for about six months. She asked how long they had been broken up, and he started counting on his fingers:
"One, two, three..."
"Three months?" she asked.
"Four," he continued.
"Four months?"
"Four YEARS," he explained.
Needless to say, she was aghast.
As Hank and I were chatting away, talking about starting our own "Ex-Boyfriends of JM Bike Ride," other riders started riding up. Eventually, JM herowndamnself rolled up on her bike. I'd love to have been a fly in her head when she saw her two hated ex's laughing and having a good ol' time.
She had nothing to say to either of us the whole day. Go figure. I rolled over to talk to a woman sitting on her bike, behind JM, and JM suddenly decided that there was something to see on the other side of the crowd. Heh.
I just found out that I'm going back to College Station today, so I'll get to go on the Social Ride tonight. Should be fun!
33 comments:
Sounds like JM should be the one removed from the mailing list and she needs to get over herself just a teeny bit! I bet seeing the two of you whoopin' it up and chattin' up the other ladies probably made her shit a big ole green brick! Good. for. you! :)
JM sounds a tad bit psycho, and by a tad..I mean a whole lot. What's her deal? The sad thing (for her) is, that slowly but surely everyone is going to realize she is WAY out of the park with you two. I agree with rkintn..she definitely needs to get over herself.
Good for you, for standing your ground and staying with the group.
HA! What goes around, comes around. :-)
Sounds like she got what she deserved.
Hope you have a good time tonight.
Poor Frank. People are always mistaking you for a stalker these days.
*cough*cough*
ahem.Anyway, this JM beyotch needs to get over her-damn-self. Maybe the dudes just want to ride their bikes, dumbass!
Oh, and also, I am a little disappointed that this wasn't about a booty call. I was hoping for the continued adventures of Frank & Little Pancho.
This JM chick? You want I should break her kneecaps? Because I totally will go all old skool Mafiosa on her ass. THAT is how I love.
rkintn - I'll have to make a point to chat up the ladies tonight. Thanks for the pointer. I think that her mail list admin priviledge should be taken away, but that's not my call.
Harmony - I was e-mailing another guy on the list, offering him a place to stay when he was in Austin. He asked me who I was, and I told him of several people on the list who knew me, including JM, "who probably won't give me a good reference." He saw that as a good thing. heh.
Daisy - I'll let y'all know what happens...
Bev - I guess I'm just too obvious. And it's Big Pancho, dammit!
Steph - Thanks for the offer, but she's too good for entertainment value.
Women can be such catty, vindictive bitches sometimes. I am so glad I am not one.... oh wait....dammit.
Sure, Frank, if you say so. :-p
Frank, I hope you don't have a bunny rabbit as a pet. YOu might come home to it boiling in a pot on the stove if JM has her way
Hmmmm, Rockman. I did have a bunny rabbit as a pet, that I found inexplicably dead, next to its cage. I was 7 years old at the time, though.
And may I point out how utterly freaky and disturbing your avatar is today? LOL
I wish I lived closer..I could help Steph kneecap'er:) Then we could go get margaritas or something lol
Thanks, Rhonda. Say hello to my little friend Pancho.
I feel like a complete idiot for asking, but what the hell is an avatar?
An avatar is that picture that goes along with your Blogger profile, and shows up with your comment.
FRank, I had a bunny rabbit as a kid too. Got if free at the gas station with a fill up, during Easter. Gave it to Granny, she fattened that sucker up and fried him. Told me it as chicken....
Granny was very twisted. Guess thats where i get it from.
I guess they do grow everything bigger in TX cause here in TN he would be called your BIG friend Pancho LOL
JM is a whore and needs to quit banging the bike club guys. But I love that you guys have your own little club within the club.
Wow, Samsmama, I'll have to remember to try to stay on your good side!
JM didn't show up to tonight's ride, but we had a good time, anyhows.
That girls is a total dumbass! Ya, I'm drinkin nd misspelling. Suck it.
I would have LOVED to have been there. Vindictiveness sucks. Unless I'm being vindictive. Then it's all good.
Glad you were on the email list!
Man, this is just the kind of thing I LIVE for! I bet MoFM would say this is 'uncouth' but I'd go so far as to find other exs of hers and invite them to join the group...and maybe they can all bring their dates/wives/children. At the very least, stay close with Hank...and ride with him...and speak in sneaky undertones- even if its about the weather. B/c someone as self-involved as JM will think its about her (I'm sure she always thinks its about her)and it will drive her crazy! which sounds like it wouldn't be hard to do.
Also, congrats on getting otu of that situation before it got out of control!
p.s we had a rabbit too and a damn coyote killed it in out backyard. She's not a coyote is she?
p.p. s. my ADD is trippin' today so forgive the rambling :)
Hey, Frank, maybe poor JM is frustrated and just wants to be alone when she rides her bike. ;)
Would it be wrong of me, Frank, to ask you for JM's phone number? She sounds wonderful. Do you know if she's seeing anyone currently?
Oh, Frank! This made me think about all the self restraint I've shown to men who soooooo didn't deserve it. I am pleased that you handled the mailing list thing like such a grown up! The highroad is usually best, but I wouldn’t be above messing with her head a little when in her vicinity. That falls under “quality entertainment”!
You know, Daisy, she does ride with her seat a bit high. I never thought of that before...
Cary, I like you to much to give you her phone number, but you can probably find it on the website. (Hint, 'M' isn't her last initial.)
There's lots of "quality entertainment" to be had, MtnMama.
Don't shit where you eat, unless you can handle the consequences.
Frank, I was just admiring your new avatar. Cycling has done wonders for your legs! Who ya holdin'? Is that Daisy?
Murph, I trust your comment is directed at JM, and not me. (And by "trust," I mean "hope.")
Thanks, Samsmama! And Daisy didn't think that anyone would recognize her from that angle. I knew better.
Yeah, Samsmama, that's me! :D It always surprises me when someone recognizes me just by seeing a picture of my backside, but it happens more often than you would think. Frank took me for a ride around town on his bike like that. He's really quite strong!! It was amazing!
We had great fun that day, didn't we, Frank. That cat suit you asked me to wear was a little warm in Austin this time of year, but it made the day more memorable so it was worth it. Thanks for not dropping me, by the way. Give me a call sometime and we'll do it again. Maybe we can do it when JM is around next time and mess with her head a little. ;)
Here's another picture of me in my cat suit.
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! :D
Nice picture, Daisy, but could you please turn 90 degrees to your right, so I can recognize you?
:-D
"Don't shit where you eat" -- words to live by. Unless you eat at Taco Bell. Some things can't be helped.
whoa! see, this is why i ride alone. well, that's not true. i ride alone because i refuse to plan ahead enough to ride with a group, but still. frank, if we ever end up riding on the same road at the same time, going the same way, i'll say hello and invite you to join me!
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